How to Find a Surrogate Mother: Your Complete Guide
Finding a surrogate mother is one of the most important steps in the surrogacy process. Whether you’re exploring surrogacy due to infertility, medical concerns, or as part of a same-sex couple, choosing the right surrogate is crucial for ensuring a smooth, safe, and positive experience.
In this guide, we’ll walk you through how to find a surrogate mother, the steps involved, and what you should consider.
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What is Surrogacy?
Before diving into how to find a surrogate mother, it’s important to understand what surrogacy entails. There are two primary types of surrogacy:
- Traditional Surrogacy: The surrogate mother uses her own egg, which is fertilized by the intended father’s sperm or a sperm donor. She is the biological mother of the child.
- Gestational Surrogacy: The surrogate carries a baby that is not genetically related to her. The embryo is created through in vitro fertilization (IVF) using the intended parents’ or donors’ sperm and eggs.
For most intended parents, gestational surrogacy is the preferred option due to its clear legal framework and the fact that the surrogate has no biological connection to the child.
Gestational surrogacy is bliss for childless couples or for single male or gay couples who wish to have a genetic baby of their own. Sometimes using a surrogate is the only way of becoming a parent or growing families. However, surrogacy is a complex procedure.
“Surrogate Mother” or gestational carrier is an integral part of the full surrogacy process. She carries the baby for nine months and gives birth, but her influence is much more than that. Hence, the surrogate is of utmost importance.
Some couples may find free surrogate mothers on their own. They might know a surrogate before but need to pay attention to the surrogate mother’s requirements. She might be a family member, a close friend, or anyone whom the intended parents know.
However, as intended parents, you might be overwhelmed with the idea of finding the surrogate mother yourself.
There are surrogacy agencies that also provide intended parents with a suitable surrogate but with an added financial cost. They not only find a surrogate but will also help you with other procedures.
Additional guides for how to find a surrogate mother:
10 Desirable ( But Not Mandatory) Qualities Of Surrogate Mothers
Top 12 Surrogate Mother Requirements That Parents Should Know.
How much is the Surrogate Mother Payment?
What Is Right Surrogate Mother Age?
How Much Does Surrogate Mother Compensate?
How to find a surrogate mother?
To find surrogate mother, follow the below steps:
- Research at least 3 surrogacy agencies to have a surrogate mother or find yourself via online help or from a family member or friend.
- Know the surrogate selection process and follow it rigorously
- The surrogate screening process and getting familiar with her
- If all goes well medical screening, psychological evaluation, and background checks start the next step of legal documents.
- A surrogacy agreement is negotiated and a final draft is formatted for both surrogate and parents with the help of an experienced reproductive attorney
- Start the medical procedure of endometrium lining preparation as per the IVF clinic protocol
#1 Finding a surrogate mother through the agency
As first-time intended parents, you might not be able to find a surrogate mother on your own. Here comes the role of the surrogacy agency or surrogacy consultant who will make you meet the surrogate mothers who are screened and approved of being a surrogate. Surrogacy agencies pay close attention to the desirable qualities of the surrogate mother before matching the surrogate mother to the intended parents.
A surrogate specialist will work with you throughout the whole process. The surrogate specialist will belong to the agency itself or might work independently.
Building the plan for hiring the surrogate mother process
At this stage, you will plan what are your goals, aspiration, and expectation from the surrogate. Your agency will provide you with the surrogate of your preference. A few points are kept in mind while assigning a surrogate –
- Experience of the surrogate mother
- Your preference and your involvement with the surrogate
- Your budget you want to spend on surrogacy
Before finding your surrogate, intended parents also need to go through the screening process conducted by the surrogacy agency. This will include in the home assessment as well.
Also, intended parents will be required to make and fill out an intended parent profile. This will explain who the intended parents are and what are their preferences. This will be used to match the surrogate mother to the intended parents as per their preference.
Process of finding the surrogate mothers
After you have filled out your intended parent’s form, you will be presented with the surrogates of your preferences and you will get to know them better. Once you have finalized the surrogate, the next procedure begins. You and the surrogate will be required to sign a legal surrogacy contract.
The time between going to the agency and getting your surrogate is known as Wait Time. There are a few things you can do to lessen your wait times –
- Be open-minded – You must be open-minded about viewing the profiles of different surrogates.
- Flexible – Be as flexible as possible while planning and with your budget so you should have a pool of surrogates to choose from. Surrogate mother pay can vary as per State in the USA.
- Well-intended parent profile – You need to make a true and honest intended parent profile to make a good first impression in front of the surrogates.
Pros of finding a surrogate with a surrogacy agency
Surrogacy agents are aware of and experienced the overall surrogacy process. They are the experts in surrogacy matching and planning. Intended parents who choose to find a surrogate with the help of an agency receive many benefits. Some of them are –
- Advanced database – Most of the agencies maintain an advanced database that will help the intended parents to find the surrogates of their involvement, goals, and preferences as soon as possible.
- Advanced screening of surrogate mothers – The agency opts for continuous screening to protect everyone in the case involved.
- A lot more benefits – There are many more benefits than just finding a surrogate, for example, explaining the surrogacy and intended parents the surrogacy process. They provide emotional support and are available to guide and support during a full surrogacy journey.
Cons of finding a surrogate with a surrogacy agency
- High surrogacy cost – The cost of surrogacy is already an expensive enterprise for many hopeful parents. But taking the help of a surrogacy agency to find a surrogate mother can add more cost to your process. Sometimes agencies charge some tens to thousands of dollars for providing the services.
- Hands-on Process – The surrogacy agency screens planned surrogates and intercedes contact between potential matches, conceivably making the procedure less “active” than it is in autonomous surrogacy
- Not all agencies are equal – Not all surrogacy agencies are the same or operate at the same level. So, always keep in mind the factors while opting for a surrogacy agency.
#2. Finding a surrogate without a surrogacy agency
How to find a surrogate mother without an agency? Many intended parents want to work with the identified surrogates. These surrogates can be family members or close friends. Or else, they can find a surrogate mother with the help of an online surrogacy support group on Facebook and forums.
Surrogacy plan for free surrogate mothers
In this case, you will not have the privilege of someone else doing your work. You must follow a few steps –
- Find a surrogate and negotiate surrogate mother to pay
- Screen the surrogate for a good match
- Find an attorney to complete the work
- Coordinate with the IVF clinic to perform medical operations
- Find support and counseling
Pros of finding a surrogate without a surrogacy agency/surrogacy clinics
- Surrogate mother costs – In some of cases, the overall cost of surrogacy might get reduced because the fees of the agency will be eliminated.
- Personal touch – Finding a surrogate on your own will give a personal touch to the process. You will not face a professional as an intermediary between the two.
Cons of finding a surrogate without a surrogacy agency
- No effectiveness – The individual advertising agencies may not prove effective in providing the surrogate mother.
- Susceptibility to fraud – Since there is no screening done in the case of an independent surrogacy procedure, intended parents are susceptible to fraud. If you met someone via an online channel, it is good to know and meet in person before any commitment.
- Need to give more time and attention – Without counseling and educational support, you might not be able to cope with the emotional difficulties during surrogacy.
- Privacy – Keeping your information private will not be possible when looking for surrogates on your own
#3. Finding free surrogate mothers online
Finding a surrogate mother without an agency is not an easy job. Here the intended parents can find the match by various methods. Methods to find a free surrogate mother via online search–
- Social Networks- Facebook groups and support groups- online support groups for surrogacy
- Personal Networks- Through word of mouth
- Surrogate finder websites- Online website which connects intended parents and surrogate mothers
- Advertisements
More resources on how to find surrogate mother:
How Does Surrogacy Process Work- 7 Easy to Follow Surrogacy Steps
How Much Does Surrogacy Cost? Everything You Need To Know (in 2023)
How much does surrogacy cost with a family member?
Countries for low-cost surrogate mothers
Top 4 cheapest countries for surrogacy in the world
Surrogate Compensation
Surrogate CompensationOne key factor to consider is the compensation structure for the surrogate. Surrogacy compensation varies based on the country, surrogate experience, and whether it’s altruistic or commercial surrogacy.
- Commercial Surrogacy: In countries where compensated surrogacy is legal, the surrogate is paid for her service in addition to receiving reimbursement for pregnancy-related expenses. Compensation can range from $30,000 to $70,000 or more.
- Altruistic Surrogacy: In altruistic surrogacy, the surrogate only receives reimbursement for medical and pregnancy-related costs. No additional payment is made for her time or service.
Building a Relationship with the Surrogate
Building a trusting, respectful relationship with the surrogate is critical to a successful surrogacy journey. Key aspects to consider include:
- Communication: Establish clear expectations about how frequently you’ll communicate and whether you’ll attend medical appointments.
- Support: Offer emotional and physical support during the pregnancy. This includes attending prenatal visits and being available for any concerns.
- Post-Birth Relationship: Discuss with the surrogate how your relationship will evolve after the baby is born. Some surrogates prefer to stay in touch, while others may prefer to move on.
Countries with Surrogacy Options
If you are considering international surrogacy, several countries offer viable options:
- Mexico: Surrogacy is legal in certain states like Tabasco and Sinaloa, with relatively affordable costs.
- Colombia: A rising surrogacy destination with favorable laws and protections for intended parents.
- Georgia: Legal and regulated surrogacy for heterosexual couples.
- Ukraine: Legal, with a strong surrogacy framework, though it’s limited to heterosexual married couples.
Conclusion
ConclusionFinding a surrogate mother is the first step toward building a family via the surrogacy process. By far, you need to give more time and effort to make sure you have the right candidate as the surrogate mother.
If intended parents are not able to afford the high gestational surrogacy cost in the USA, they can opt for international surrogacy countries like Ukraine, Georgia, and Colombia surrogate mother costs are affordable yet secure.
If you’d like to learn more about IVF, Egg Donation, or surrogacy services globally, check out the rest of our website: IVF Conceptions. We offer legally secure and affordable surrogacy consulting services for FREE.
Get in touch for a Free Surrogacy Consultancy:
📲 +91-8800481100 ( WhatsApp, Line, Viber)
FAQs About Finding a Surrogate Mother
FAQs About Finding a Surrogate MotherHere are some common questions that intended parents have when looking for a surrogate mother:
1. How do I start the process of finding a surrogate mother?
The process begins by deciding whether you want to work with a surrogacy agency or find an independent surrogate. Agencies can help match you with vetted surrogates, while independent surrogacy gives you more control over the process but requires additional effort.
2. What is the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy?
- Gestational Surrogacy: The surrogate carries an embryo that is not biologically related to her. The embryo is created using the egg and sperm of the intended parents or donors.
- Traditional Surrogacy: The surrogate uses her own egg, making her the biological mother of the child, which can lead to more complex legal issues.
3. How much does it cost to find a surrogate mother?
The cost varies depending on the country, whether you’re working with an agency, and whether you’re opting for commercial or altruistic surrogacy. On average, surrogacy costs range from $50,000 to over $150,000, including legal fees, compensation, and medical expenses.
4. Can I use a friend or family member as a surrogate?
Yes, using a friend or family member as a surrogate is possible and can reduce costs. However, it’s essential to still go through the legal, medical, and psychological screening processes to ensure a smooth journey.
5. What legal considerations should I be aware of when finding a surrogate?
Surrogacy laws vary by country and state. It’s important to work with a surrogacy lawyer who specializes in reproductive law to ensure that your parental rights are protected and that the surrogate understands her role.
6. How are surrogates screened to ensure they are fit for the process?
Surrogates go through rigorous medical, psychological, and background screenings to ensure they are physically and mentally healthy enough to carry a pregnancy. Agencies usually handle this process, but independent intended parents must arrange screenings through fertility clinics.
7. What should be included in the surrogacy contract?
A surrogacy contract should clearly outline the surrogate’s compensation, medical expenses, parental rights, and expectations around the pregnancy and birth. It should also include details on how disputes will be handled and the legal steps for establishing parentage.
8. What countries are popular for international surrogacy?
Countries like Mexico, Colombia, Georgia, Ukraine, and India offer surrogacy options, with varying legal frameworks and costs. It’s crucial to understand the legal landscape and ensure that international surrogacy agreements comply with both your home country’s and the host country’s laws.
9. What are the risks of independent surrogacy?
Independent surrogacy carries higher risks due to the lack of agency oversight. Intended parents must handle the legal, medical, and psychological aspects on their own, which can lead to complications without proper guidance.
10. How do I build a good relationship with my surrogate?
Open communication, respect, and emotional support are key to building a positive relationship with your surrogate. Whether through regular updates, attending medical appointments, or being involved in key moments of the pregnancy, it’s important to establish trust.
These FAQs provide a foundational understanding of the surrogacy process and help guide intended parents as they navigate the journey of finding a surrogate mother.
